bad dream

while i sat in bed this morning, listening to the mourning trees outside bending under the heavy rain and awful wind, i remembered the dream i had last night. up until now i didn't know when i fell asleep and whether i dreamt or not.. but today, while reading the last pages from "operating instructions" i remembered. there were still fragments i cannot write here because for the reader will make no sense whatsoever.. but there was this awful feeling.. it happened that i had a baby with a stutter and drunkard doctor. much older than me. and she had a rather big head. even if i knew that she was recently born, she could hold her head and she could sit. she would have this kind of ugly shape of her head.. like a mountain crest from left to right.. i dunno where i was but.. when i got there by her side there was WWB and she said that the girls name is Elena Mari....-something (cannot remember). and i didn't even know the surname. and i frantically looked through a pile of files and i found the folder that contained her birth certificate and was overwhelmed with rage when i saw that it is true.. i started yelling that i wanted my girl's name to be Larisa or Eliza (names which i simply adore..). and i remember saying that the next one will be named one of those names. and i know that i was waiting for her to come from the hospital. as if someone else would have given birth to her..

*sigh* i hope nothing from the dream will come true. i hope.. that my babies will be pretty.. and *i* and *my husband* will name them.. this nightmare made me really sad. i wish i hadn't remembered it at all ..


still raining outside. back in brasov this would look like an awful storm. here seems to be... normal. i would go out, but the small pauses between the showers will allow me only to get to spar. which is less than 5 mins away.. will run out of bread today.. so tomorrow i'll have to go for groceries. i am rather terrified to do so.. the rain coat seems a bit.. useless in this wind and rain.. *sigh*